me and either not care or be polite enough to not show it. My guess is that I was read at the moment I entered the theater I might have been given away by my voice, my height, my Adam's Apple, my facial shape or some combination. It really doesn't matter. When I went to the rest room they saw me and checked which seat I retur- ned to. They called the police and came to get me when he arrived. I assume there really weren't any patron complaints, simply the management reading me and being careful. Obvious- ly the good news was that they were very tolerant about my being dressed in the first place. I think the manager was sincere in asking me to stay and enjoy the show. I believe the police- man was sincere in saying I was doing nothing wrong by simply being there dressed. Those are major pluses! Certainly some years ago it was fear of being read and presented to the police that kept me from going out dressed. I don't know how representative my experience was. I mentioned that my town is liberal I think the police are trained to be careful of even cross dressers' civil rights. Still, I'm sure I broke some law by using the Ladies' room and there was no scene, no checking of ID, no nothing!

Having this happen made me rethink the whole mall and cafereria experiences. I believe that there are a surprising num- ber of ordinary people out there now who are pretty tole- rant of unusual behavior like ours. The fact that they don't react does not mean we have not been read, simply that they accept what we're doing. What I now need to do (and perhaps others in my same boat) is decide if it matters. Sure, I'd rather pass as a per- fect woman. I'd like the reac- tion that Tootsie got. But I have to remember that Tootsie was only a movie and those

was

actors didn't "read" Dustin Hoff- man because the script said they shouldn't, not because he perfect from all angles and distances. I'm pretty well convinced now that even with the best of training, clothes and makeup (and I know there's much room for improvement) I'm still going to be read by a significant number of people. estimate that I saw no reac I tion form ninety-nine percent of the people I came close to Saturday. Assuming that some of the ninety-nine percent act- ually saw through me but were polite enough to not show it that still means I fooled the vast majority of people. Even so, I consider that one or two percent who may have read me to be very significant though. I know for certain that I will always have to be very careful in selecting my places and times to avoid trouble because I should assume that I will ALWAYS be read by someone. That's a sobering thought and it puts a bit of a damper on the fan- tasy I mentioned at the be- ginning. I am convinced now that I will never really be acc- epted as a woman.

matter to them or to me. know many of our sisters have already reached that stage and I hope this description may help others to reach that point. Perhaps the ultimate goal of all this is to simply take pleasure in assuming the feminine image, fooling as many people as possible and relaxing in the knowledge that recognition by others is not the end of the world. I am certainly not encouraging foolhardy behavior. It's important that we make sure the likelihood of jeopardi- zing our male lives is infinite- simal. That will depend upon how well you can disguise yourself, where you go, what you do and where you live. Still, many of us can stop suffer- ing from paranoia and get on with enjoying our hobby. Have fun!

On the other hand I also know that if I'm willing to accept some hidden and not so hidden curiosity, I really can publicly wear women's clothes, at least in a tolerant urban setting. Considering all the dire fears I've had about public ridicule over the years I look at this as a very positive conclusion. As I write this several days after the fateful Saturday my interest in dressing has definite- ly not diminished. I'm not anxious to repeat the theater experience but I'm certainly not going to go through a purge or confine my dressing to my bedroom. I may be entering a more healthy stage of accep- ting that I am a man dressing as a woman and that some people will see me as doing just that and it really won't

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